Two very different musics

It simply doesn't get any more pompous, cliched, or over-the-top than the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And that's just the way the audience loves it.

Yesterday's shows in Grand Rapids were the almost culmination of the Christmas tour (a stop in Detroit finishes it). If you've not seen a show by the TSO, think of the hair metal bands of the 80s. Give the drummer a set twice as big as the norm, make sure the guitarists (count 'em, one, two, three!) are seriously skilled, put two keyboardists on the stage. Now add a string section (thank you Grand Rapids Symphony) and, oh, about nine singers. And a narrator.

There's your musical muscle. But it's much more than that. How about enough fog to make a small cloud bank, lasers that could destroy the starship Enterprise and a couple Klingon birds of prey, spots, strobes and other lighting effects that cause optical illusions, moving trusses also filled with different lighting effects, a beautiful starry sky (!), and so many pyrotechnics the audience could feel the heat? One word comes to mind: WOW! Actually, it's more like wow, as the totality of it all was so overwhelming.

Musically the tunes hold together better than on disc. Again, it's the show that matters, with the guitarists, lead violinist, and singers (the girls at least) running and skipping the length of the stage and the wings, showing up in the audience, on the back stage, descending from the rafters, or strutting on the other moving wings to play, sing or shimmy directly above the audience. Did I mention wow?

Amazing, exhilarating, and hilarious. One note: those of us who are follicly challenged have no hope of joining the band. But if you're looking for great fun, with the additional fillip of supporting a good cause (the shows raised over $17,000 for charity in GR), it's hard to top it.

Yesterday also brought sad news, however, with the death of Dr. Billy Taylor. Not only was Taylor an influential jazz musician, on a par with Duke Ellington and McCoy Tyner as a pianist and bandleader, and the composer of over 350 songs, he was without doubt the foremost jazz educator around. Not only as an actual instructor, but in bringing jazz to the masses and demystifying the music.

For many years he was a featured regular guest on CBS's Sunday Morning with Charles Kuralt. He also was a regular radio commentator. He was instantly recognizable with his oversize glasses and his friendly demeanor made him accessible to all, from the most erudite musician to the most naive jazz neophyte. He will be missed, and the world, jazz in particular, is the poorer for his loss.

Reflections on a life and death

When we took Mary to the hospital in the midst of the Sunday night blizzard here, I thought/hoped they would be able to give her some IV and nutrition and she'd be able to come home in a couple days. But on Tuesday morning when I went in after dropping Marc off for class, the nurse said there had been a change overnight and she was no longer responding to requests or commands. I went in and bent over her ear and said “I love you.” She didn't open her eyes, but her lips moved, and she clearly whispered back, “I love you too.” The doctor told me that morning that he thought it would be about 24 hours, and Marc and I gave her permission to go later that day. Still, she fought on: 24, 48, 72 hours passed before her poor body finally wore out.

The past few days have been a whirlwind. Fortunately, Mary had (of course) planned everything out, and gone over it with Fr. Michael, her priest and boss. So we rounded up the cats and sent Mary off in high style. If only she could have been here in person to see all the wonderful friends who came out for her going away party. She would have loved it.

The music, by our music director, Peter Bergin (keyboards and a beautiful tenor voice), our friends Christina Seymour (soprano) and Dave Johnson (bass), and guitarist John Wunsch, was beautiful. One of my friends wrote, "The love in that room was so big and so real, and that church is so musical, I think it should you should pitch it as a new TV show, a kind of Catholic Glee. Thank you for sharing your lives so openly and all of that amazing grace. John Wunsch's rendition of "Amazing Grace" was a masterpiece of emotion -- a perfect, meditative climax. A few times today, I shared with friends who know you but didn't attend the funeral, about how amazing the service was and what a great tribute it was. It was an extreme example of one of those times you want to applaud and express your appreciation, but can't. (Although I must admit it's refreshing when a great piece of music ends without a crowd of drunks applauding and some redneck whistling or yahooing.)" Thank you Jim Barnes.

Personally, I veer between great sadness, happiness, joy, laughter and tears. It's a whirlwind of emotions. Those of you who knew Mary, even if you only met her once, knew the joy she brought to every encounter. To know that light has been extinguished forever, that I will no longer be able to look in her sparkling eyes and talk to her about matters mundane and profound, to ask her who the heck the actor is on TV because, you know he was in that one show, to point to the dog’s latest shenanigans and laugh, to sit with her and listen to Marc tell us a tale, to tell her I love her, is emotionally devastating. To know that I will never again hear that lovely, musical voice – truly the best female voice this harsh critic has ever heard – Is just so sad.

Yet I know that Mary is finally free from her suffering. She never complained, though she would matter of factly tell me from time to time, “It's really hurting today.” Marc and I saw every day what she went through. The way her back became increasingly distended, her posture more and more stooped from the fractured vertebrae. Her increasing wobbliness, resulting in going back to the walker from the cane a week before she went into the hospital. The bedsores. The raft of pills she had to take, resulting in two separate pill boxes, one for morning, one for evening. Still, she persevered.

And so do we. I am not the first person this has happened to, nor the last. People pick up their lives every day. The world doesn't stop spinning just because someone you love is suddenly gone. We all know that from losing friends, neighbors, parents, siblings, children. Just two weeks ago my hometown of Newaygo lost one of the pillars of the community, my good friend Jeff Cronk, to a heart attack. Two weeks prior to that, his brother-in-law Mark Simon, the superintendent at Mesick, also passed away due to a totally unexpected heart attack. So if you're going to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for Jeff's lovely wife Wendy, who lost her brother and husband in the space of two weeks and now has to make Christmas for her three sons.

But like Wendy, I still have so much to live for. If Mary was amazing, and she was, our son Marc is the most remarkable person I've ever met. His ability to miss his mom yet accept that she's gone, to look past the hurt and appreciate both the wonderful times we had and the knowledge that Mary is no longer suffering, is the best medicine I could get. Our wonderful friends here continue to support us and lift us up with their love. Cards, calls, emails, all overflowing with love (keep 'em coming!).

My best friends from home, Joe and Chris Sorden and Jon Bumstead, were at the funeral, and afterwards were looking for a place to sit in the parish hall for the luncheon. I grabbed them and said come sit with us. You are family. Of course, I could have said that about anyone there, and probably anyone bothering to read this blog. You are all our family. Though I'm an only child, in addition to Joe and Jon, I have a raft of brothers from Circus Circus, my dorm floor at MSU, rallying to me. My editor at Progression wrote and called, my editor at the Business News wrote me several times, my editor at the Insider came to visitation, my editor at Northern Express was at the funeral, and the folks at Jazziz sent a beautiful bouquet. Not to forget my former editor there, Koretzky, and my triathlon-loving friend, Blaze. My former employers at Coldwell Banker sent a plant, and then visited en masse. Former boss Leslie Bloomquist Knopp, whose father, my Spartan band director Ken Bloomquist is now battling this demon disease. All the St. Philip Neri and Empire/Glen Arbor friends -– without you we would be, if not lost, at least so much poorer in spirit. Diane from eyeland, Genevieve and Janine from hairland, my NMC Jazz director Mike Hunter and his wife, Margie, who was Marc's elementary music teacher, along with a number of his other teachers. The cards that keep coming in. Realtor friends, high school and college classmates, the Record-Eagle alumni club, including Nick, Tom, Tuner – and don't forget Jacki! – Facebook friends. It is is all good.

Those of you who were not able to be at the funeral will have a chance to make it up at the burial in the spring in Empire. I will keep you updated. It will be one more opportunity to celebrate Mary's life.

I've occasionally appended to my notes those from my friend and former section leader in the SMB, Bob Addleman, who has kept us in his prayers and on his prayer chains in Pittsburgh while dealing with his own health challenges and moving in to a new home to take better care of his mom (increasing dementia) and dad (who had a stroke). In the midst of his travails he continues to reach out to me, and I'll end with the closing from his latest email, sent to me the day of Mary's funeral.

“I know it probably sounds hollow on a day like today, but today is another opportunity to have a great day. I hope and pray it's that way for both of us.”

Me too. For all of us.

Love to all,

Ross and Marc

Heavy Hearts

Mary died peacefully this morning at 10 o'clock. She fought determinedly to the end, even after we'd told her it was all right to go. The doc told us Tuesday morning he thought 24 hours. Hah! From the same people who gave her a year in February 09. She showed them, and showed us all how to fight. Stubborn woman.

Since we took her into Munson in the Sunday night blizzard, she had mostly been asleep. Her sisters stayed with her almost constantly. Tuesday morning when I got in the doctor and nurses said she had been unresponsive, so I went in and told her I loved her. She said, "I love you too."

We have yet to work out funeral details. It will be at St. Philip Neri in Empire, of course, her home away from home. Though sometimes I thought it was the other way around.

Marc finished his exams this week. Yeah, great timing. But it gave him something else to do and think about. And of course he did spectacularly well. When I dropped off his last project today, a DVD he compiled from Absolutely Fabulous and accompanying booklet for his psychology class, his professor went out of his way to tell me how much he enjoyed Marc, how bright and insightful he was and how much he added to the class. Well, yeah. But it was great to hear. He has been incredible throughout this whole ordeal. He has been my rock, and here I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. He is truly the most amazing person I have ever known and I am so glad and so proud to be his Dad. Mary of course felt the same way, and I see so much of her in him. Plus my eyelashes and sarcasm.

Thank you to all of you for your innumerable kindnesses, thoughts, prayers and actions over the past two years. I know Mary would never have made it to this point without all of you. Our lives have been enriched for having known you.

Love,

Ross and Marc

On hiatus

Two favorites are currently "on hiatus" as the networks like to say. ABC's "Detroit 1-8-7" and the FOX show "The Good Guys" are both ending or have ended their season runs, and it's unclear whether new episodes will be ordered.

That's too bad. These two very different cop shows are mildly engaging at worst. At best they offer interesting characters and stories, more than can be said for most TV shows.

"1-8-7" is another in a line of gritty police shows, starting with "Hill Street Blues" and through "Homicide: Life on the Streets" and "NYPD Blue." Michael Imperioli is brilliant as enigmatic Detective Louis Fitch, and "NYPD Blue" vet James McDaniel is among the others in the ensemble. While some have portrayed it as "just another cop show," it is more than that. It may not be brilliantly original, but it is engrossing and unpredictable. Plus it helps Detroit's economy. What's not to like? Its biggest problem may be that it is on opposite "The Good Wife." It has gotten love from the likes of Time magazine, but whether that will be enough to give it a second season is still unknown.

"The Good Guys" is at the other end of the spectrum. If "Law & Order" was ripped from the headlines, this opposites attract buddy cop show seems ripped from "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Police Squad!" with a little C.S.I. and "48 Hours" thrown in. Bradley Whitford chews up the scenery as old-school cop Dan Stark, and Colin Hanks is appealing as his initially earnest and appalled partner who is gradually coming around to Stark's methodology, often to his own chagrin. Throw in an interoffice romance between Hanks's Jack Bailey and his on-again DA squeeze Liz Traynor, while awkward but endearing CI Samantha Evans harbors a not-so-secret interest in Bailey. It makes for a very messy show, one that is impossible to take seriously, but that's not the point. The point is a lot of car crashes and explosions, repartee that Stark seems to think is either witty or profound but is neither, and a grudging acceptance of the fact these things seem to work out by Bailey, Traynor, and cop boss Lt. Ruiz (Dan's ex-partner and ex-love interest - told you it was messy). It's too broad to be that funny, but it's still at least a couple steps up from dreck such as "Chase" or "Hawaii Five-O" or any of the garbage that is reality TV.

New TV shows not worth saving

So I had a chance to catch two of the season's new television shows I hadn't yet seen. There's two hours of my life I won't get back.

Let's start with the already-canceled "The Whole Truth" starring Maura Tierney and Rob Morrow. I can see why it's already gotten the axe. Tierney is fine if bland. Morrow looks like he just woke up in the boat wearing last night's clothes. Actually the clothes look like they're from a couple decades back. The scruffy look worked for Don Johnson in Miami Vice, but he wasn't appearing in court. Don't you think an attorney would shave, and iron his shirt? Or at least make sure the shirt and tie match?

And its gimmick, that at the end of the show the truth would be revealed? Big whoop. It was done better before on the far superior FOX lawyer show "Justice," starring Victor Garber. Also on that show was Eamonn Walker, who - surprise! - is on the team here too.

Next up, "Hawaii Five-0." Where have you gone, Jack Lord? This remake is just dismal. No wonder James MacArthur just died. He probably saw an episode. The acting is wooden and the writing stupid. Other adjectives come to mind, such as dull, comic-book-like, moronic, and lowest common denominator. Grace Park as a surfer-turned-cop? Please. It would have been better to have Alex O'Loughlin reprise his role from "Moonlight" as a vampire detective assisting the Five-0 team. Now, that would have been fun.

Also just canceled is NBC's "Undercovers," the husband-and-wife spy series. It tried hard, very hard, but the characters were more like caricatures. I won't miss it much, but it was the best thing on in its time slot. All I can say is bring back "Snoops."

TV on the web on TV

So there's a new device that lets you watch any program from the web anytime on your TV. Only problem is, as NY Times tech columnist David Pogue points out, it doesn't work. From his review, it sounds similar to when your basic cable was suddenly enriched by a stray HBO signal. I remember my roommate and I hauling our TV upstairs to watch Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy in "48 Hours" when that happened to us. The upstairs was getting a better signal, so we hoisted that 200 pound monster (this was the 80s, long before the luxury of lightweight flatscreens) and struggled up the stairs. For a day.

Anyway, Pogue's review of Orb TV sounds like the results we got back then. Only worse, because much is promised and less is delivered. Sometimes the picture freezes, sometimes it's fuzzy, and much of what is promised simply isn't there. Part of the reason is because the device tries to work around restrictions mandated by the networks and Hulu.

That's where Pogue mentions the key challenge: "TV sets are becoming computers, computers are becoming TV’s, the line is blurring, and the blocking of gadgets is looking more and more arbitrary . . . sit the TV executives and advertisers down and find a way to make Web shows pay for themselves, no matter what device they’re playing on."

Read Pogue's entire article here; it's fascinating. But its penultimate solution points out to me the similarities to the recording industry when the digital age hit there. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. The industry is changing, and trying to prohibit change from happening is at best a stalling tactic, and at worst, stupid and irritating to consumers. Change happens. Get onboard or get run over.